"Alcohol solves socially what's harder to answer emotionally."— Anna Donaghey
That line stopped a lot of us in our tracks. It's the kind of sentence that sounds almost obvious once you've heard it — and yet most of us have never paused to ask it of ourselves. That's exactly what February was about.
This month, at RBC we took on this culturally loaded topic: our relationship with alcohol. And rather than a prescriptive, crisis-driven narrative, the book that got us there was something far more curious, warm, and surprisingly fun to read.
The Book: What Are You Thirsty For?
Anna Donaghey's on Rething Alcohol and the Life You Want , won the February member vote with 36%, edging out Sunshine Warm Sober by Catherine Gray (33%) and We Are the Luckiest by Laura McCowen (31%).
It was a close race — which tells you something about how much appetite there is in the RBC community for this conversation.
The book isn't a memoir of rock bottom or a manifesto for sobriety. It's a gentle invitation to get curious: why do we actually reach for a drink? What job are we giving alcohol to do — and is it actually doing it? Part psychology, part personal journey, part practical toolkit, it's the kind of book you read with a highlighter in hand. Whether you're sober-curious, moderating, or simply interested in living more intentionally, it has something to offer.
"Every single job we give alcohol is tied to managing emotions. More confidence, less self-doubt. More ease, less stress. More joy, less sadness. And the more jobs we give it, the more essential it seems. What began as a social drug has now taken on the role of self-medication." — p. 34
We Got to Talk to the Author
The highlight of February was having Anna Donaghey join us — not once, but twice. She came to our Global Digital Event, and then joined us in person at our London event at XOYO in Shoreditch (yes, we took RBC to an actual nightclub — and didn't pour a single alcoholic drink).
Watch the recording of the digital event
Top 5 takeaways from our conversation with Anna
1. We drink on autopilot. Most of us never consciously question why we reach for a drink. Alcohol has become the default response to so many situations — celebration, stress, socialising, boredom — that it goes completely unexamined. The first step to changing your relationship with it is simply to ask: why am I actually drinking right now?
2. Small curiosity beats big willpower. Dramatic declarations ("I'm giving up forever") trigger resistance in the brain. Anna's approach is to stay curious and move in small steps: skip the drink tonight, see how you feel, build evidence. Sustainable change happens by nudging the steering wheel a few degrees — not yanking it hard in a new direction. As Anna put it: no one ever builds up a body of evidence and says I felt worse.
3. Alcohol is a Swiss Army knife that doesn't deliver. We reach for it to celebrate, to connect, to relax, to reward ourselves, to escape. It promises to do all of these things, but the neurochemistry tells a different story. By drink three, you're only back to where you started emotionally — you're not actually getting what you came for.
4. The industry isn't going to tell you this. Neither the drinks industry nor the government has a strong incentive to make us drink less. The information about alcohol's links to poor mental health, anxiety, and serious illness is out there — but we have to go looking for it ourselves.
5. The world of not drinking has never been more interesting. From alcohol-free beers that genuinely rival the real thing, to sophisticated new aperitifs designed from scratch (Anna's favourite: Botivo), the options available to non- and low-drinkers have never been better. Sobriety no longer means warm orange juice at a party.
What Happened Across the Cities
February saw What Are You Thirsty For? spark conversations across 10 cities and online — from Edinburgh's Melting Pot to a Sydney picnic in the sun, and that Shoreditch nightclub takeover.
Here's a flavour of what went down:
Manchester had an in-depth and wide-ranging discussion, with some members opening up and baring their souls — a testament to the safe, welcoming space the community has built.
Edinburgh welcomed a special guest: Ry from Drinklink, a self-proclaimed "dealer of not drinking." The group dug into the personal and societal reasons behind why we drink.
NYC hosted a brilliant event at an alcohol-free venue, with familiar faces joined by some welcome visitors from the Boulder chapter.
Edinburgh's Oscar read Sunshine Warm Sober, shared an event recap + this wonderful quote: "Books are maps. Maps of how someone else found their way out of those godforsaken woods."
London was — quite literally — taken to the dance floor. Ben SG shared a full event recap on LinkedIn if you want a flavour of what the night looked and felt like.
🎵 Watch the TikTik recap of the London event.
Mid-Month: Sip & Chat + Rebel Coffee
Beyond the main events, February had plenty more going on. London members joined RBC member Jon for a relaxed Sip & Chat at Ark Canary Wharf — a great way to discuss the book in smaller company, whether you'd read every page or just a few chapters. And RBC member Aidan organised a special Rebel Coffee at the Barbican Conservatory, a cosy outing for members to explore the lush conservatory before settling in for a book chat.
More on the topic of sobriety
If Anna's conversation left you wanting to go deeper, here are some things worth bookmarking — including our two other shortlisted books for February, which are well worth picking up if this month's theme resonated with you.
📚 February's Shortlisted Books
Sunshine Warm Sober: The unexpected joy of being sober – forever by Catherine Gray (33% of the vote) — the follow-up to Gray's beloved The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, this one goes deeper into what long-term sobriety actually looks and feels like. Honest, funny, and quietly radical.
We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life by Laura McCowen (31% of the vote) — a raw, beautifully written memoir about what happens when you stop drinking and start paying attention to your life. A book that many readers describe as the one that finally made things click.
🎙️ Watch & Listen
🎙️ From Advertising to Alcohol Mindset Coach — A podcast conversation tracing Anna's journey from working in advertising to becoming an alcohol mindset coach. She gets into the moment she realised alcohol was doing jobs it was never meant to do — and asks the big questions: "What are you actually thirsting for?" and "Is your life good enough — or are you using alcohol to tolerate it?" Listen on Spotify
🎙️ The Big Drink Rethink — Anna's own podcast, where she talks to the people reshaping our drinking culture. Warm, non-judgmental, and full of practical insight. The newsletter flagged several standout episodes: Exploring the Love Affair with Alcohol, The Truth About Alcohol & Sleep, and The Gendered World of Alcohol Marketing. Listen on Spotify
Up Next: March 2026 | Book #131
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"So much of the history of Africa has been written by people who were not only not from the continent, but actively despised it... It is time to tell the story of a continent that has been long misunderstood."
After a month of turning the lens inward, March takes us outward — and wide. The theme is Africa, and members voted for Africa Is Not a Country: Breaking Stereotypes of Modern Africa by Dipo Faloyin, which won with 45% of the vote.
Witty, subversive, and sharply argued, this book dismantles simplistic narratives about Africa and replaces them with vivid portraits of cities, youth movements, cultures, and histories that challenge West-centric assumptions. It's a book that will change how you see a continent that has been misrepresented for far too long.
Reading starts Sunday 1st March. Member events are Monday 30th March (Global Digital Event) and Tuesday 31st March (in-person events, in 10 cities).
We'll see you there. 📚
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